Arouse in the Other Person an Eager Want

November 23, 2011
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Dale Carnegie knew that the only way on earth to influence other people is to talk about what they want and show them how to get it.

This is a good thing to remember regardless of whether you are dealing with children or calves or chimpanzees. In his book, “How to Develop Self Confidence & Influence People by Public Speaking,” Carnegie offers this interesting—and humorous—example:

One day Ralph Waldo Emerson and his son tried to get a calf into a barn. But they made the common mistake of thinking only of what they wanted. Emerson pushed and his son pulled. But the calf was doing just what they were doing: He was thinking only of what he wanted; so he stiffened his legs and stubbornly refused to leave the pasture.

The Irish housemaid saw their predicament. She couldn’t write essays and books; but, on this occasion at least, she had more horse sense, or calf sense, than Emerson had. She thought of what the calf wanted, so she put her maternal finger in the calf’s mouth and let the calf suck her finger as she gently led him into the barn.

William Winter once remarked, “self expression is the dominant necessity of human nature.” Why can’t we adapt this same psychology to business dealing? When we have a brilliant idea, instead of making others think it is ours, why not let them cook and stir the idea themselves? They will then regard it as their own; they will like it and subsequently have more of an emotional investment in the idea.

Remember: “First, arouse in the other person an eager want. He who can do this has the whole world with him. He who cannot walks a lonely way.”

Here’s an example of this principle in action from your friends at Dale Carnegie Training of Philadelphia and Allentown:

This post is brought to you by the good folks at Dale Carnegie Training of Philadelphia and Allentown, providers of professional development and management development courses and information in Philadelphia and Allentown. We would love to connect with you on Facebook.

Photo credit: Stuart Miles

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